Today was the final shoot day with Julie and Jay Cooke and their family who we have been working with for several months. We spent the day with them and their sons Liam and Spencer, who we have filmed before. We also were able to meet the rest of the family today, brother Alex, 13 and sister Laura, 21. We also got to know the two family dogs, Chinese Shar Peis, who I was little scared of at first, but who are really friendly and cuddly. Julie and Jay also have 3 cats and a hamster!

We spent some time with them at home firstly, doing typical Christmas holiday things like playing games, watching TV, playing on their X Box and eating too much chocolate.

We then went out to the local park, with the dogs, and had a lovely walk.







Laura was able to join us when we got home, as she had finished work, and we spent some time with Laura, Julie and Spencer.

Our crew today were Director Debbie Howard, DoP Paul Wiseman and Sound Recordist David Mitchell.

This was the last time we will film with Julie and Jay and their family, and it’s been a real pleasure getting to know them all. Next time we meet will hopefully be the premiere of our film! That’s exciting!

Big thanks to Julie, Jay, Liam, Laura, Spencer and Alex for working with us over the last few months and for sharing their story with us and being warm, open and honest about their experiences.

Wishing them all a Happy New Year (and a happy birthday to Julie)

Yesterday we accompanied Matt and Juliette Gaunt to the Birmingham Women’s Hospital for their latest scan and consultation with their Doctor.

Juliette is now 28 weeks pregnant with her new baby, after losing Ben just over a year ago. It’s a difficult and fraught time for Matt and Juliette. Going through a subsequent pregnancy after a loss can be filled with anxiety. Juliette has had many scans by this point, and it’s always hugely reassuring to know everything is well, to be told your baby is alive and growing steadily.



When we met Juliette and Matt at home before the appointment, you could tell they were anxious and tense. Once they had had their scan and been given the wonderful news that everything was well, and watched their new baby moving around on the screen, their energy became lighter and back to their usual cheery selves. It was a real privilege to be able to be there and see their baby on the monitor.

We are keeping all images and pictures of the scans private right now, they’re very special to Matt and Juliette at this point.

The Birmingham Women’s hospital was busy and we were helped with our filming by Maria who made sure we had what we needed for our shoot. At just a week before Christmas, the ante natal department was bustling with those having appointments, and it was very kind of them to allow our crew in the already busy waiting areas.

Our team for the day were Director – Debbie Howard, Producer – Colin Pons, DoP – Paul Wiseman and Sound Recordist – David Mitchell.

This was the first time we’d had to film in two places at once, as we were also filming in Derby at the Sands Christmas Service, so we sent out a second crew to do this, see the blog for this coming very soon.

Wishing Matt and Juliette a lovely Christmas and big thanks to them for letting us film their appointment yesterday, and thanks to Birmingham Women’s Hospital and our crew.

It was a cold, clear day when we set out for the Derby Sands Xmas memorial day,

I had failed to get adequate direction to which part of the cemetery we needed to be in so there was some confused driving of the five-strong, somewhat cramped crew around the narrow wooded paths before we found the right place at the bottom of a slope, under a wrought iron  gate.



With rows of tiny graves, each engraved headstone at ankle height, many lavishly decorated with mini Christmas trees, baubles and soft toys, all with a glistening of frost. Paths quarter the circle, leading to a tree and a circular bench. Each quarter represents a season.

We unload the equipment and begin to set up, trying to remain respectfully unobtrusive.

Lou arrives and with her comes a flurry of activity and industry, the local babyloss community, brought together by Derby Sands, by Lou, is a friendly and welcoming one. As they set up the decorations and chat, Balloons, LED tealights and programmes soon adorn the benches and pathways.

A van arrives, bringing elegantly caged white doves as a tearful and diverse congregation gathers.

Moving readings of poetry and prose are given by Lou, the local vicar and others. They touch on many aspects of the experience of baby loss. The tears fall.



It’s a beautiful and touching event, It’s obvious how important it is for the people there, how difficult Xmas is for them, in particular, for them.

The dedications read, fathers are invited to participate in the culminating event, to hold and release a dove. This is the moment that Lou has been waiting for. The Dove Release. The moment the glorious white birds would flutter elegantly from the upheld hands of the throng to fly in a circle over the cemetery and return before  away. But not these doves.To be fair, it was cold and if I had been a dove, unaware of the significance of my duty, unaware of the sorrow below me, I might’ve headed for the coop like it was closing time, too.

The doves were beautiful, clearly well trained and cared for. Wonderful, but fast.They flew in a straight line from the point of their release, over the boundary walls and back to the comfort of home.

We had a great experience of this service and met some wonderful people. Our heartfelt thanks to all concerned, especially Louisa Evans.



The crew on the day were Emma Dalesman, our hard as nails, smooth as silk, kind as comfort Director of Photography, Rob Newman, sound recordist, Jaqui Bellamy, our excellent stills photographer and Thomas Corden, proactive  Production Assistant, supporter and all rounder- wonderful  team mate, and what a team we were!

Today we filmed the Lily Mae Foundation’s Little Shining Lights Christmas Service, in memory of the precious babies gone too soon. This took place at a really beautiful church called St Mary’s, at Temple House, Knowle, near Birmingham

The Lily Mae Foundation was set up by Ryan and Amy Jackson, after losing their little girl Lily Mae to stillbirth in February 2010.
You can read their story here:

http://www.lilymaefoundation.org/about/?/Our-Story-1

Ryan and Amy have done amazing work with the Lily Mae Foundation, raising over £30,000 for Sands and other baby loss groups.
They have offered much care and support to other families and have been a source of inspiration to so many.




Two of our film’s main characters Matt and Juliette Gaunt attended, Juliette now works with the Lily Mae Foundation and helped prepare the day with Amy.

The service was beautiful and very well attended by many families that had lost their babies, and their friends and family.
There were readings, poems, songs, carols, candle lighting and hanging beautiful messages to their babies on the Christmas tree. It was led by Vicar Kathy Lloyd Robers who did a wonderful job. It was a beautiful sunny day, which made the most of the light coming in from the stained glass windows.

There was a lovely letter to Santa reading my Alfie, Lily Mae’s older brother, son of Ryan and Amy.
He did a great job of this and asked Santa to make sure he brought presents to Lily Mae and the other babies too.

The Christmas tree looked beautiful when it was decorated with the special dedication tags and baubles for all the babies.
St Mary’s Church are leaving these decorations on to remember the
babies for the whole of the Christmas period.

Our crew for the day were Debbie Howard – Director, Colin Pons – Producer,
Emma Dalesman – DoP and David Mitchell – Sound Recordist.

Big thanks to the Lily Mae Foundation for putting on such a wonderful